L’amour…Lunes Avant

I scoured my past blogs to find something I wrote 2.5 years ago. I was 22 then. I was still an undergraduate. I was in a different relationship. Everything was different then. As of late, I have been ruminating & marinating the idea of love again.  Anyways, a little something about love, many moons ago. I am still contemplating whether I feel the same at all.

Why do we all look at love as primary in the beginning and secondary with time?  Its what brought us together, its what put us on top of the world, its the thing that put a smile on your face, that smile everyone else was so tired of.  Love is the reason you felt a part of something, the reason you felt saved, another reason to be secure, love was the thing you had when you had nothing left to offer them.  So why isn’t love enough?  And I say this not in the sense that love can be the only basis for a successful relationship, but in that love has to be enough of a reason to try everything else.  Love has to be the reason you are willing to get all those smiles back, it has to be because there’s not much hope left in anything else.

We are the strength, we are alive everyday, that is our strength.  In Islam, there are jihads (struggles), the lesser and the greater, the greater jihad is the struggle with yourself.  Some consider waking in the morning for prayer a jihad.  If just waking in the morning can be the greatest struggle, think of every day as a victory.  You can be strong enough to endure everything and anything because today…you woke up.  Love is a strength not a weakness and although you feel weak, you are strong.  You can count your blessings or you can point out the stains, but in the end, what makes you happier, your blessings or the stains?  In the end, who would you like to keep, to share your love with?

Society today says, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and while there may be, it never means that we should give up love for ANYTHING.  We have many quotes and life advice on mugs and magnets but they’re all coping mechanisms.  Here’s a cup of coffee with a side of subliminal avoidance.  Fish or no fish, when you were starving, you appreciated the scraps.  Not to say we should settle for less, anything less than love isn’t love.  You’ll know it when it finds you, you’ll feel 10 feet tall and beautiful, you’ll notice the daisies, you’ll sing along to love songs in your car, you’ll find reasons to make them smile, you wont imagine life any other way.  If there are plenty of fish in the sea, why don’t they all bring those feelings?

Love is very particular about who it finds, when you least expect it, while your eyes are closed, when you’re running from something else, it sees you and says, you deserve love.  Is it not of the greatest feelings, the basis for all existence, shouldn’t it matter more?  When you first met, the person is the end all, the be all, the missing puzzle piece and beyond perfection.  It doesn’t matter if they have a different view on politics, or if they dress different from your type, doesn’t matter if they’re late on occasion or get mad when a guy checks you out.  None of that matters, anything can work because the sun shines out of their ass and you are in love.  You can get into fights on a street corner over the tone of your voice or the menstrual causing mood swing, you can get drunk and say means things and their will be forgiveness because of the love that you shared.

By the time your months in, or a year in, love is secondary.  I could follow further into where love falls on the list of priorities but for those of you who have broken hearts, you already know what happened to love.  There is bitterness and blame.  Point your fingers, it doesn’t matter because if he did it, so should you, right?  Wrong, stop pointing, use your fingers for touching.  Stop using your fingers to place blame and start using them to count the reasons you were in love in the first place.  Use your fingers for ‘just because’ phone calls, and use your fingers for holding hands.  Love can do anything, why have you forgotten?


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