Two Thousand Thirteen

Roxy-come-lately on this topic but I can not recall the last time I had a new year’s resolution. Realistically, its a half month promise to yourself towards betterment followed by the bitterness of guilt for spending most of the year’s months in a complacent standstill. Lets call it the “comfort in consistency”. I will not resolve to fake self promises. Instead, I continue my upward climb and look forward to the “Next Step”.

& While there is comfort in consistency, there is also comfort in growth, improvement and THE UPGRADE. When I worked at Boys Town, I used to motivate my teens in telling them that it was all about “the upgrade”. Don’t just step up your sneaker game or your clothing and fitted game. Step up your life!

Call me superstitious but every new year and every birthday is an opportunity for me to look back on the year and say goodbye to it, begin new, feel like you’ve accomplished something and can accomplish more. Look at everything around you as a stepping stone, don’t feel too comfortable with what you have because there is always more that can be done and more that can be achieved. & When I mention superstition, its in the sense that however you spend your new years day or birthday whether it be how you celebrate or just your attitude, its the theme of the year to follow. So be positive!

I will not resolve to become healthier or to go back to school, I will not resolve to have better relationships with the ones I care for and I will not resolve to get rid of any leeches that may have sunk their suckers in me for the past year. No resolutions, just the continued work on actually getting what I want.

Kicking off the 2nd month of this year and I can say with confidence that my life has gotten better every year no matter how many rough patches I have come across. Let go of the victim attitude,  let go of excuses because there will always be excuses. I’ve upgraded my jobs, continuing to upgrade my health, upgraded my relationship, upgraded my friendships.

While most of my life has felt like swimming against a current, going against all odds,  I am a first generation female from a large family with parents from Latin America and the Pacific Islands who are by no means well-off. By race, gender and socioeconomic status, the odds are against me along with many other variables that I won’t get into. Yet, I have upgraded on my own & If I can do it as a person with many road blocks then what exactly is stopping you?

So everyone thought the world may end in 2012, and I will admit sometimes I felt comforted that “hey if the world ends, then this won’t matter!” BUT! We’re all still here and while the number 13 is supposed to be bad luck, let’s redefine 13. Why don’t we make this year the lucky one? We get this new beginning where we can start over new and forget all of our stupid patterns, forget all of our misfortunes and forget all the reasons why we just couldn’t get it together before.

Lately, I have been really worried for the people around me. I spend a lot of my free time wringing my hands, thinking and planning and wanting so much better for my family, for my friends, for the people closest to my heart. I want so much for them to upgrade it all, to never look back and to convince themselves that they can in fact do anything. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even breathe knowing that the ones I love are struggling. If I could make my own life better every year, how can I inspire this growth in others.

Anyways, fuck resolutions. Don’t make fake self promises to quit smoking or caffeine, don’t join a gym and never go. Don’t make a dream board. Don’t just dream. Start doing and keep moving and don’t stop…ever.

Believe that even when your wings have been ripped that you walked away with your head held high.

Believe that even when your wings have been ripped that you walked away with your head held high.


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